your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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