it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize