I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
