I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
