she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My feet surprised me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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