the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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