I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
