she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize