In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
