I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
