He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
