So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
