I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize