hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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