I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
