I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
