oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize