Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
