Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
