evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
