i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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