Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
