This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
