you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
