She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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