So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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