It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
