through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
