And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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