Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize