idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize