I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
