I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
