dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ttyl tear gas
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
