discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
