is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So many bounce houses so little time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
