Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
