White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize