Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
