I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
