It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
