i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
