he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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