Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
