508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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