So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
