my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
