i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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