So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Even my vagina gasped.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize