im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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