happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
