I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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