is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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