the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
