After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
