I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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