Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
