just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
