I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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