Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
