I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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