What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
