I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
