thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is Oprah even human
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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