R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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