is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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