is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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