ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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