you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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