What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
